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The trace effects of diazepam powder remain through my perception for the day and may effect the experience slightly. I was psychotic and furious before previously today and as I took my benzos I finally calmed downed and stopped thinking about stabbing people and found relief from my anger. Then the problems I had kind off resolved after talking with my girl about stuff and I hope she finally understands the issues I had. But I don't want to elaborate on that further. I mention this to explain where my mood has been today so you can paint a better picture within your mind of where I have been mentally earlier this day.

23:41 I swallowed my dose. Just chatting on msn. Doing my internet stuff Starting to feel this stuff come up in about 30 minutes. Perception is changing. Feeling a bit uncomfortable. The more uncomfortable I feel at first, the stronger my trip will be. I can already measure the strength of my trip before I experience it. I become more aware. A tryptamine feeling overcomes me. But it's not a bad feeling at all. The feeling of empathy without the love. The drug penetrates deeper within my own psyche. What emotion I feel right now is unclear to me. Coming on stronger now. A feeling I dislike. Everything I perceive with my eyes is glowing much more than before.

00:23 Ok, I took the time to try and explain the big bang to someone and I kept staring at the screen in confusion I should do that while I'm sober. Haha.

01:48 now. Visual activity is awesome. My soul is less under the influence of dimensions and so my visual perception distorts. Too many people talk to me on msn and I try to describe the effects of this drug at the same moment. I'm in control. No trip that makes my mind warp to further places but simply that nice trippy place. haha. I really like this stuff. Very enjoyable. I have some nice closed eye visuals but I seem to busy with other things. The body feeling is very enjoyable.

02:13 I decide to take a small break for myself and explore this substance further. Damnit. Low battery and I want some music. Here I am again. Anyway, what I can say so far about this experience is that the trip is not mentally overwhelming but it does have a strong enough intensity to be really enjoyable. It does not attach to the mind as much as other psychedelics would do but yet leaves me in an amazing trippy place. This is a psychedelic toy. This is the first tryptamine that I have tried that in my opinion comes so close in effects to a phenethylamine. The 2c's I mean.

02:38 My thought patterns are really beginning to take on different shapes as they question whether or not writing this is important or all other things that this life will come down too. I know the answers. How important is writing this? I think more and more. I did not think my trip was still increasing beyond this point. It puts things in perpective. I think about what I can do or learn to become happier. I try poetry for a moment but I give up. Do I have to little inspiration or is it that I can not keep up with my inspiration? The second one, definitely. I just don't feel like it for the moment I guess.

03:03 I feel kind of hungry but decide not to eat. My stupid computer thinks it's funny to restart when I'm gone for a moment so some stuff I wrote is gone too. I tried to meditate and only ended up tripping deeper. With no recollection of what I was trying to do.

03:50 Fuck it, Imma do my favourite thing while tripping. Watch malin's melodi I have beautiful insightful ideas. To abstract within my mind to explain with words but I figured out all the love I possibly can feel for her. With her mind being the absolute. If I differentiate between her body and mind, her mind is the most complex. Her true self.

Even if I knew the smallest details of every little thought she has. I can only love her as much as her mind expands. And in what other way would it expand but in a good way? I can only love her for as intelligent she is. And her beautiful body aids me. I want to double my dose but I don't know if that is safe or will possibly drive me insane.

04:19 I like this substance. Yet, I wish there was something I could do about my happiness. My temperature raised a lot. I sweat. It's supposed to be cold here now?
Technology fails on me now and then but my mind never does. My mind feels cleared up yet exhausted.

4:52 Malin makes me happy. And if my serotonine doesn't make me happy, I'll make myself happy using my mind alone. I don't need this body to aid me to love her. Are my emotional issues resolved? Who the fuck asked that? Voices can be confusing. Sweet drug. I'm still on it and I can't wait to take it again.

5:02 Getting a little bit tired. Have I found enough lucidity? As I seek it but didn't find enough in my mushrooms. Can I go from psychotic to clearheaded now? How is emma going to act? I'm confused. I drink water. I love water. Visuals are still present. They are as strong as I make them with my mind. I bend half of my whole room as I perceive it. Whenever I want to by focusing. But I guess it would be more fun if it happened by itself and not by me trying to do so. My muscles that hurted so much before from working out are barely noticable now. The pain, that is.

6:00 Getting a bit more tired. And more hungry. I am able to focus my thoughts much more in their normal behaviour again. I'm freakin sweating again? Ok, I can compare the experience the most with a subtle dose of some 2C. So far I like 4-meo-mipt better than 5-meo-mipt.