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It feels like my entire life has been a dream up until this point. I have been a floating observer, looking at myself from a third-person perspective. My spirit, or consciousness if you will, starts to find its way back to the blood and flesh body that is sitting on the couch.
Suddenly, I notice the music has stopped. Still feeling dissociated, it feels very weird to see myself slowly getting up. Physical me is on its way to the stereo installation, a few meters away. Every step that is taken, I feel my spirit getting sucked into the body. The moment I put on another song, it feels like my spirit and body have connected or reconnected. For the first time in my life, I feel like I am living from a first person perspective. I am in control.
As I mentioned above, I had taken a couple different substances over the course of the night. At midnight, I was at the train station in Leiden on my way to my parent’s house near Amsterdam. My mom and dad were still on skiing holiday.
I decided to take some 2c-b, which would start working just before I would arrive at my destination. Unfortunately, there was an uncomfortable bodyload present when the drug started to come up. When I got out of the train, I felt nauseous and threw up just outside the station. However, this completely freed me from the bodyload. I decided to take a detour to my parents’ home, which would be about 5 kilometres. I got on my longboard and very smoothly rolled over the road. No person in sight anywhere, just me and the lit road, surrounded by grass-lands. I felt happy rolling down the way, which caused a big smile on my face.
It was at this moment (about 1 a.m.) I decided to reach into my backpack to find my good ol’ bag of drugs. I was looking for the tiny bag filled with MDMA crystals. Two dipped fingers of Molly I flushed down with some water and I continued my journey. I put on the album World of Sleepers by Carbon Based Lifeforms on my iPod, which I found really suited that moment. After about 20 minutes, I start to notice my surroundings had a pink haze over them. I couldn’t stop smiling, as I felt more and more euphoric by the minute.
About halfway the route, I took a break to have a smoke and another dip of M. Sitting on the side of the road that leads through the industrial zone, I enjoyed the cigarette and drank some water. The music sounded beautiful with a capital B and the bright yellow lantern lights had me sitting in trance-like state for a minute.
Upon arriving at my parental home, I dropped some vitamin pills and had some food and water. It was 2 a.m. and I took my last, somewhat bigger dips of MDMA. I was lying down on my bed, listening to a trance playlist on my iPod when I opened my laptop and started typing some words about the night.
After a few minutes, my eyes felt shaky and I started to have some difficulty focussing on the screen. There was a growing warm feeling in my chest, expanding over the rest of my body quite rapidly. Euphoria took over. The warm feeling in my chest was like my heart was pumping pure joy and love through my whole body. My head was tingly all over my skull. My jaw felt tense. My eyes could not focus at anything anymore. The stream of thoughts that ran through my head when I was peaking was racing at an unbelievable pace. I was overrun with ecstasy.
After some time, the euphoric feeling started to get to a plateau. I was able to focus my eyes again and read back what I had written down about the long-lasting, very intense peak. “I am peaking!!!” were the only words on the screen. I decided to enjoy the comedown on the coach in the living room.
Downstairs, I enjoyed the fantastic sound coming from the stereo installation, a couple of cigarettes, some weed and a small line of ketamine. The ecstasy feeling was slowly decreasing, but the visuals were starting to bounce off the walls. At about 6 a.m., I took a bigger line of ketamine. I drifted off – feeling myself get sucked into a dreamlike world, shifting through dimensions. Time was no more. Ego was no more. I was disconnected from my body. This is where the first paragraph of this trip report starts.
Why now, I ask myself. Why am I entering or re-entering my body at this specific moment and location? My parental house, which I could distinguish by the familiar objects around me but did not feel at all like the house I have lived for the greater part of my life. Everything starts to become clearer now. Moments ago, the world seemed blurry and tunnel-like. As if I had my eyes open under water. Vague, colourful mists I see. I am aware of my hallucinogenic state due to a variety of drugs I took: the Molly, coming down, the 2c-b, which is still somewhat active, some weed and some lines of ketamine.
I spend some time figuring out what just happened to me.
I getting myself together, I manage to slowly but steadily get up the stairs and into bed. I fall asleep almost immediately and wake up at 1 p.m. The good mood is still there after my night’s sleep
ja langzaam cruizen is chillll
